Ashford High: War of the Sexes
by valorkairi
Summary: Kallen never meant to start war with the 'Legendary Three' but did. Now It's a battle of romance, pranks, and friendship between the opposite sexes. SxK CCxL AxG
1. Kallen

It wasn't an intention that was thought to be harmless, but was.

**"You know what Kururugi?**

Hell, if I knew such a war was going to start I wouldn't have said that!

**You may think your some kind of god,**

I may have just felt victorious that day as I gave him my triumphant smirk.

**But do you really want to know what you are?**

But I was eons away from ever winning against him.

**Your just a whiny rich kid from Hades underworld."**

Now, I'm against all odds and attempting to win a battle where I have no chance. None at all.

----

I've always been annoyed by that- that irksome man and his friends! They acted like they owned the school just because of their abundance in cash, good looks, and talents of many varieties. If you saw the legendary three you nearly fainted from their 'amazing bright aura' as some fan girls described. If they dared to look at you you would set yourself in a long coma as some girls described, and if they dared to just touch you you would apparently die from their godliness. Well, I Kallen Koizuki for one have never felt at all fainthearted by these scums of hell! They may act all rich and mighty, but really they are just retards whose daddies buy them multi-million dollar surgeries and taught them their morals from Playboy Magazine.

Now let me tell you about these frauds, I mean....'legendary three.' First and for most there is Lelouch Vi Brittania. His daddy is the governor of the small secluded area of Brittania, which is why everyone kisses his ass, and his mommy is a leading fashion designer for females with eating disorders. He has shiny black hair that has appeared in fashion magazines before and amber eyes that nearly melted every girls heart out in to a puddle of mush....except for mine, of course.

Second, there is Gino Weinberg, playboy, socialite and over all prep to our nation. His hair is blonde and eyes are baby blue and oh-so gorgeous as the female population has claimed. Let me just give you a brief outlook on him without really going into cruddy detail. If I had a nickel for every girl Gino has slept with I could probably buy the whole school. He is what you would call 'a man whore.'

And last, but certainly not least is the devil in the flesh. Suzaku. Kururugi.

Many- I mean _many_ would describe him as the sensitive athletic prince charming in everyone's favorite shojo manga. (Manga is a form of comic artwork that is read right to left and shojo is girls manga.) Now isn't that just sweet? Hell, no. It's gagging and makes me want to burn every fan girls hair with a bloody lighter! Now lets lay down some of his traits and background. His personality? Happy go lucky and slightly arrogant. His parents? Prime minister of Japan and novelist for womens sex fantasies. His current romances? Euphemia Li Brittania, who is also Lelouchs beautiful and semi annoying sister and a cat who only acknowledges his existence with brutal torment. I like the cat.

So, here they are walking and strutting like they own the place while every girl is going ga ga over their superiority and every guy is wishing to be them. Gino winks several times which makes girls squeel, Lelouch ignores them as usual (In which sometimes I think he's gay), and Suzaku gives them a friendly smile that says 'sorry your not good enough for me, but hey lets be friends' kind of look.

Cecaniah Corballe (C.C.) and Anya Alstreim the only sane people besides me as always hold no care for these frauds. Cecaniah is as usual reading a book while Anya is as usual texting on her phone.

"Can you believe them?" I ask angrily. I slam my hand down on the table and shove some of Cecaniah's Pizza hut Pizza in my mouth. "Vi Veem- vhey wharent event vat vool." I swallow the pizza. "I mean, er they aren't even that cool!"

"Don't be jealous dear." Cecaniah says. "They all die anyways." Cecaniah is what you would call a Gothic lolita emo maiden goddess who has no attention towards the opposite sex. The only loves she has is consuming every book in sight and collecting pizza hut plushies. She could have any guy she wanted if only she wasn't so depressed sounding and actually had any interest in them, but alas she has none and is.

"I'm not!" I retort. "J-just their attitude annoys me!"

"Just don't pay any attention to them." Anya comforts. Anya is what you would call a loli artist. She was a lolicon in the making who wore short loli dresses and was always sketching out some perverted lolicon picture for her blog. If she wasn't drawing, hell, the girl was texting or taking photos on her _life. _A.k.a her cell phone.

"How can I when their 'aura of superness' radiates throughout the whole school?" I ask sarcastically.

I feel a finger tap on my shoulder and turn around to see Lelouch Lamperouge. Blasphemy.

I see him quickly glance at Cecaniah and even in the back of my mind swear she glanced back.

"H-hello." I stutter embarrassed. Anya stops texting and mouth drops at the sudden sight while Cecaniah could care less about the situation.

"Kallen Koizuki?" He asks. JERK! He didn't even bother to say hello! "Your requested after school to the track meet."

I go red. "Y-yes. Th-thanks."

He walks off and Cecaniah only teases. "Whats with this cocky 'no-boy-can-suck-me-in' attitude you were talking about?"

"Shut up."

-----

_Of course _god has to let me perish! _Of course _he has to make me lab partners with a dreadful boy! _Of course _this dreadful boy has to be SUZAKU KURURUGI!!!! Oh, how at a time like this I wished the Emo-Mafia from Alice in Wonderland would kill me with their joyful singing. (A/N:Er, btw I like emos. I am emo as a matter of fact, I just like making fun of myself XD) Anything, but _THIS! _Have I not been through ENOUGH!?!?!?!?!? Apparently not.

"There's only two milliliters of sodium chloride." Suzaku reminds me.

I want. To break. Every one of his. Pearly. White. Teeth.

"Y-yes." I murmur.

"Yo, Suzaku." Oh god not him! Gino, Gino, Gino, Gino, DAMN YOU GINO! I want to burn the bloody pair at the stake, I want to stab my pencil in their eyes, and much, much more, but of course are way to gory to explain.

"Oh, hi Gino." Suzaku says.

"So you see that girl this morning? The new one?" Gino asks.

"Heh. Don't tell me she's your new target."

"She's my new target. I mean did you see her breasts? It was like Nicole Kidman sized....." Please kill me now. Of course they were men and talked about such, but in front of a very girl? That is just so wrong on so many levels!

"Heh. I would bang that anytime." Suzaku says.

Thats when I had it. "The matter of the deal is if she would bang _you._"

Silence. Of course they had never been stood up to.

"Spicy." Gino comments. "And you might even have bigger breasts than her."

Suzaku is obviously instead of turned on like Gino, is offended. "And how would you know? Girls obviously go for me."

I feel pissed now. "Except for me." I fumed.

"And...your a girl?"

Thats when I jumped on him. Stares turned towards us and suddenly people were chanting 'fight,fight,fight.' Before I knew it I was punching his gut and trying desperately to slap him, but he had already grabbed my hand and pinned me to the ground. I struggled to get back on top. When I did I didn't even get to lay another hand on him because Anya was in a second between us both.

"Kallen stop acting barbaric." She said calmly.

"But-!"

"Calm down." She said.

"Ooh." Gino said abruptly. "Who are you again?" He seemed interested in Anya already, but she looked by the least annoyed.

"A female who thinks your image is repulsive in itself."

Oooh's erupted from the crowd.

Cecaniah walked over next to me while Lelouch was next to Suzaku. It looked like we were all ready to jump each other. It didn't surprise me by the least. One day I would snap, and that day was today.

"Bitch." Suzaku muttered.

Then I said it. I said what was on my mind and this would forever change my normal life.

"You know what Kururugi? You may think your some kind of god, but do you really want to know what you are?" I had so much to say, but I narrowed it down into one last sentence. "Your just a whiny rich kid from Hades Underworld."

Everyone was obviously stunned. Until he said... "Then this is war." He said. The world had collapsed.


	2. CC

I'm guilty as sin.

**"How am I going to**

This was just one of my simple lustful desires

**Explain to Kallen**

And I selfishly indulged in them.

**That me, her best friend**

With a friend of the enemy.

**Slept with the enemy?"**

I just fell in love with hell.

----

Ludicrous isn't it? I fell in love with a man the day before Kallen started war. Laudable is my fate. I appraise it for its craftiness and making me feel in a mix. I was loyal to my friend and I loved someone I shouldn't. It was a trivial matter of whose side I should take and fate was tugging both my arms. I, Cecaniah, have fallen head over heels with Lelouch Lamperouge.

I felt grimy when thinking of last nights encounter. How we had met at a bookstore and talked until midnight. It was like a fairy tale until today. I had nearly a thousand thoughts running through my head after Kallen and Suzaku's little brawl. And when she had declared war on him, I knew from then on my life would be disastrous. I'm not so much afraid of losing, I'm afraid of losing lelouch, and if I still keep him, I lose Kallen. How was my fortune so cruel?

Then this morning I had only deepened the pit of despair and culpability by going ahead and having sex with Lelouch. I remember how it felt to have him pressed against me and I loved every minute of it, but now I was so ashamed by my behavior that I deplore the thought.

I saw him in 7th period today and our eyes were locked as though sharing a secret. After class he had approached me and attempted to kiss me when I put my finger on his lips and said. "This isn't right."

He felt this rather irritable. "Why not?"

"Were at war. I'll have to make you hate me."

"It won't work."

"You'll see. Kallen may look unworthy of a war, but she may surprise you. I in fact my surprise you."

"You already do."

I shook my head and smiled. I had to end this now. "How am I going to explain to Kallen that me, her best friend, slept with the enemy?"

I sighed when he didn't answer and turned away. I headed towards Anya who was looking at me questioningly. She tilted her head in her famous lolita pose and asked: "What was that about?"

I didn't want to tell her that it was me rejecting Lelouch so I instead said. "Gathering blackmail."

We had met with Kallen after school and as usual she was in her fits of rage over Suzaku's selfish superiority. I had listened with a half an ear as I read and Edgar Allen Poe book. Also my thoughts were overwhelmed with Lelouch. My stomach went into turmoil when thinking of him. His egotistical cold self. That I just so happen to love.

"So what do we do?" Kallen asked.

I looked up at her. I could see the fire scorching in her eyes. "Huh?"

"Well C'mon! We each have our different talents."

Anya barely looked up from her phone. "Yeah. Like you acting like an angry boar."

"You mean the ass kicking part right?" She asked haughtily.

"Call it whatever you like. All I know is that your the most violent creature I have ever met." Anya says casually. Kallen fumes. Though Anya's statement was true. When in confrontation Kallen would either a) kick your ass or b) kick your ass. There was no way around the boars temper.

"Also Cecaniah has a talent too." Kallen adds as she tries to cool down. Which was rather hysterical. It was liking watching a steam kettle simmer down.

"And that would be?" I ask.

"You crush people from the inside. You can tell what a person is like just from looking at them. You can dig into their very hearts and trample all over them without using nothing but your words."

I winced. That was true. In grade nine I was faced with a girl name Alexanderia who wished to see me actually act human. As I recall she had went along the lines of 'Bitch can't speak cuz she thinks shes so much better than us. That bitch ho probably be stealing are boyfuh-rends!' I had simply looked at her. Looked at the circular face of hers and then the temper that dwelled with in her eyes. The mockery that was supposed to harm me. Funny thing was...it didn't.

Instead I had sat up looked her in the eyes and smiled impishly. It was as though the devil had taken over me. 'You're boyfriend?' I had not really knew what I was saying, but it flowed out so freely like a river. 'You suspect at this moment he's cheating on you don't you?' Alexandria looked so intimidated by my question she had flinched and lost her superiority. I had continued with maliciousness in my voice. 'Everytime he says he loves you you feel as though his words are that of a fake.' She shook. 'Everytime her puts his hand around your waist you think hes telling you he adores you, but you know the truth. Theres another female? This female just so happens you suspect to be a friend of yours. One who had been with you through thick and thin?' The girl was on the verge of tears. 'And you feel as though she's laughing at you. Her with your boyfriend all cuddled up in bed? Don't you?' I asked. And at this she cried and ran to the nearest stall.

"I guess." I had said calmly, but int truth the memory made me go limp.

"And Anya your a rumor spreader."

Which was also true. Anya could make up the littlest lies about someone, fake evidence, and spread the rumor through her phone. As far as anyone knew all her rumors were real. She simply took pictures of the wrong moment at the wrong time, recorded words she could later rearrange, and had overall all the abilities of a gossip girl.

She just rolled her eyes and continued texting.

"So heres the plan..." Kallen had whispered.

----

When I awoke that morning I had recalled the dream of me and Lelouch. Wrappen in each others arms. The memory made me feel melancholic. I wished to see him. Oddly he was awating to walk me to school. Luckily no one could see us and I felt a smile tug on my lips.

"Lelouch." I had whispered. Joyous.

"Cecaniah." He walked beside me and our distance barely existed for he was grabbing my waist and I leaning against his shoulder. I felt secure and right with him. I longed for this moment since 'breaking it off' with him.

Unfortunatly our moment of heaven was ruined by a disturbing poster hanging on the school wall.

Lelouch twitched. I sigh.

Everyone was laughing in hysterics while I found it the least bit funny. It was a picture of Suzaku and Lelouch as little kids in their jammies hugging onto eachother. The sign had read 'Friends or more?'. And by the look of the picture the 'more' might as well been true. At the top of the stair case lay Kallen. Smirking triumphantly. At the bottom, Suzaku. Flames arousing from his nose.

"Whats the meaning of this?" Lelouch whispered angrily.

I stepped away. "I told you. Were at war. This was Anyas doing obviously. You should have listened."

I sigh once again and greet Kallen at the top of the staircase. Lelouch is glaring daggers at me. It hurts to see him so disgusted with me. After all I had betrayed him.

Suzaku waved his arms frantically. "What the hell is this?!"

Kallen only chuckled evily. Sinister. "Why don't you tell us?" She shook her head and waved her hand. "Why couldn't you tell us earlier that you were into guys? Or more specifically a _certain_ guy."

People laughed at the comment and I even saw Anya crack a small smile.

"I'm not gay! I'm straight."

"No need to use a cover anymore Suzaku. We already know. Maybe thats why you never carry condoms."

In an instant everyones phone rang and they all opened it. They were now beyond laughing and the term ROFL could be taken seriously. A picture of Suzaku throwing away a condom was shown. I had to admit. I was a little wordless over this and soon began to crack my own smiles.

I turned to look at Lelouch who was out of sight. This overwhelmed me. I had hurt him.

Suzaku did not recieve the response I had expected. Instead he walked, smirking, challengingly, to Kallen. She seem surprised by this act too. He grabbed her hand and intertwined them in his fingers. She flinched and tried to grasp free while he held tight. The fangirls were nearly on a rage to kill Kallen by now. He held tha hand to his lips and kissed it. Kallen turned ten shades of red. It was quite funny to see Kallen flustered, but now I felt more of a rage towards Suzaku.

He let her go and said: "I underestimated you." Then walked off as a path was cleared for him.

Shaking was Kallen as she exploded and screamed the loudest she has ever screamed in her whole life. "WHAT THE HELL IS HIS PROBLEM????!!!!!"


	3. Lol

That moment you get when people keep asking you to finish a story started two years ago and debating whether or not it's even worth it.


End file.
